The Horoscopes

"I'm Aries," I said handing over a pound coin,
"The sun and the moon will combine," Josh replied,
"Which means?" I added,
"Give me another pound coin to find out," Josh responded
I handed over another pound coin

"I'm Cancer," said Milly, opening her wallet and removing £1,
"Your aura is cracked," Josh whispered,
"What can I do?" Milly panicked,
"Give me two pounds and I can fix it for you," he said,
Milly pulled out two pounds

I'm Capricorn," said Pete, giving Josh his one and only pound,
"You have some sort of event coming up," Josh barked, wearing of
                                                                               telling fortunes
"My maths test" Do I pass or fail? Pete answered,
"Give me all your form points and I will tell you," Josh suggested,
Pete peeled off 19 stickers off his form point card and gave them
                                                                                         to Josh

I'm Pisces," screamed Lily, under the influence of too much Red Bull,
"Someone you know will die soon," Josh explained,
"WHO? WHO?" yelled a very scared child,
"Give me your chewing gum, your pea shooter and 50p,"
Lily passed some of her prize possessions to Josh

Josh was counting his money in the corridor,
"Josh!" shouted an unhappy headteacher marching towards him,
"Give back the money you have taken from people!"
"Give me a fiver and I'll read your future for you," Josh replied,
"Okay," said Mrs Stevens, pulling a crisp note out of her pocket

Martin Battey (aged 12)